Saturday, August 05, 2006

Give me(back) the finger

Mills of the gods

I returned from a weeks vacation today to find that Jeff Blum of Yonker's New York had the most viewed video this weekend on the CNN web site. He had come to the aid of his sister, who was being slapped around by his brother in law, when his enraged in law turned on him, put his finger in his mouth, and bit it off. Jeff got somewhat upset about the loss of his finger (it was a good one, an index) so he came at his brother in law, who then stuffed the finger in his mouth, ran into his car and locked the door where, according to Jeff, he proceeded to chew on it (the finger, not the door). When the Police arrived they demanded to know where Jeff's finger was. He related that it was in the mouth of his brother in law who was sitting locked in his car. The Police retrieved the finger and gave it back to Jeff who took it to the hospital.I assume they took the brother in law to jail, although details are sketchy. The finger could not be reattached, according to Jeff, because it was lost through a human bite. I did not really understand that aspect of the story. I doubt it matters what animal bites off your hand, it probably just matters how clean the severing was. The fact that Jeff saw the finger being chewed for over 'three minutes" probably had a lot to do with the finger's replacement chances. Anyway, nothing good has come out of Yonkers, New York in over a century.Possibly nothing since the Hudson River Valley painting movement. if someone were to tell me the story of Jeff Blum and his lamented thumb, and then asked me, "where do you think that happened ?" I would have hit upon Yonkers within three or four guesses (Camden, New Jersey, Gary, Indiana and just about any county in east Texas would also have been good guesses). I have yet to figure out if only crazy people go to those places, or if those places can just make anybody crazy. It does not matter. There are places in this country to avoid, if you want to keep all of your fingers, and right now, Yonkers is at the top of the list.

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