Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Bad time to be a Sting Ray

Mills of the gods

I did not know much about Steve Irwin, the so called Crocodile Hunter. The truth is, I don't know much about Australia or Australians.They are so far away. I will never see Australia because I could not survive on an airplane trip long enough to get there. So it is hard for me to understand that the Australians wanted to give the Croc Hunter a state funeral, usually reserved for great leaders of a country. Reagan's state funeral was the last one here, I guess. But whether or not he deserved a state funeral, it is now apparent that Stingrays are being killed and mutilated in Australia as revenge for Irwin's death. I assume that we will soon hear that certain Chevrolet Corvettes have been gutted by the incensed Aussies.

I'm sorry that Erwin died. He seemed like a fun guy. I would not subject my daughter to wild animals in the same way he exposed his children, but frankly, my daughter probably faces more danger from traffic every day that his kids do, so I have no right to complain. But it is carrying things a bit too far to blame the whole Stingray race for the actions of one of them. Plus, so far there is little evidence that Erwin's death was a premediated act by a cold blooded murderer. All signs seem to point to the killer Ray having a somewhat natural reaction to having its habitat filled with video cameras, sound systems and screaming, Australians. These things happen. Usually what happpens on the Great Barrier Reef, stays on the Great Barrier Reef, but with modern sattelite technology and twenty four hour cable news channels, it is getting harder to cover up things like this. I am worried that the spate of Stingray killings in Australia may soon lead to copy cat killings world wide. Irwin had more fans in America than he did in Australia (because we are a much larger country and drink a lot less beer per capita, so he was more recognizable here). I hope and pray that none of them are thinking of Stingray mutilation this morning. The Australian reports said that Steve Irwin would not have wanted this. Let's do what Steve would have wanted us to do. Let's go wrestle a Croc' ! "Crikey ! "


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