Friday, September 01, 2006

Mills of the gods

Jobs for Oldies

The AARP, a lobbying firm for the elderly, disguised as a social group, released its yearly list of best companies to work for if you are over 50. There was a time when I did not pay much attention to that list, but I look at it pretty carefully now. BY the year 2012, one of every five employees will be over 50. That means several things to the average American office.They will need more bathrooms and bigger parking spaces to start with. The quality of the company softball team will go down and the Christmas party will end a few hours earlier.Health care premiums will sky rocket. On the good side, wait a minute, there is no good side.

What no one talks about when they are bitching about illegal immigration, is that it is one of the things keeping America from being totally geriatric. Here we have millions of young people, strong enough and resourceful enough to sneak past all of those border guards so that they can do jobs that the rest of us will soon be too infirm to do, and we want to send them back !Hell, we ought to be happy they want to live up here in Grampsville. When you were 21 did you want to hang out with the old folks ? Of course not. When you were 18 did you ever say, "you know, I'd like to run away to a country whose average age would allow them to star on "The Golden Girls" ,that sounds like a way to spend my youth." So the fact of the matter is that by 2012, when one in five employees is an old fart who can't hear, about one in five will necessarily have to be a young Spanish speaking kid so that we can get some work done. That means that 40% of the work force either won't be able to hear or understand what the other 60% is saying. "Que ? " and "eh ?" will be the two most commonly repeated questions at any job in America. " I need to see Mildred and Jose in the conference room immediatly." Mildred: " eh ? ", Jose: "Que ? ". Mildred and Jose will then be put on a team together for a project and never hear or understand one word from each other.And this is unavoidable, because if Mildred and Jose don't get hired, we will be 40% short in the work place.

The really bad thing is that none of the old guys have saved any money for retirement. In fact they will all still owe hundreds of thousands on credit cards.They can't quit ! And as long as they stay in the work place, they will probably get good medical care, so no one will ever retire. That means that Jose will be pushing Mildred around in a wheel chair for a quarter century or so, while the other 60% of the people in the U.S, work force illegally immigrate to Mexico.

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