Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The new prohibition

Mills of the gods

New York City, following its ban on restaraunt smoking, is now seeking to ban trans fats from all dining establishments in the city. All of us know that trans fats are bad for us, but few of us really focus on what they are. That is because they get mixed up in all of the other mish mash of health food and exercise terms that many of we more sedentary types try to tune out of our day to day conversations. I do hear people talk about trans fats. My wife seems to know something about them and, I assume if I am eating too many of them she would stop me.

If I understood the article I read this morning, trans fats are artificial fats that are used in cooking and seem to reach an especially virulent form in frying (which by the way will be the next thing New York City bans). I am reliably informed that trans fats make up some, if not all, of Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonalds French Fries. Now I don't eat either of those two things very often, but I will say that I find them quite tasty when I do.

The New York Bureaucrats say that substitutes for trans fats that are healthier and "taste just as good or better" are readily available. There are two, and only two possible reponses to this assertion. One, that it is true and trans fats are a lot cheaper than their substitutes, meaning that fast food costs will go up if they are removed, or, Two, that the New York health official is lying and that fast food companies have tried different ingredients to sell their products and have determined that trans fats are an essential "herb and spice" to make KFC tase good. Believe me, unless it saved money or improved taste, trans fats would not be in anything. That's how America works. China too, which you would know if you ever had an MSG headache.

Either way, the American consumer is about to enter the danger zone. Because when trans fats are outlawed, only outlaws will have trans fats. Do you honestly believe that this country will give up good fries ? what you will see is people making fried chicken and fries in their homes (bathtub fries) and illegally selling them out on the street and in the schools. "Hey kid, come her, I got the good stuff, legs and thighs, pure trans..." Do you really wan to see law abiding citizens and children transformend into criminals because they want to eat a perfectly legal substance. Do you want to see KFC Speakeasies opening up in every basement and backroom. Do you want to see the return of Al Capone type gangs, cornering the french fry market and fighting each other for Fried Fish territory ? And all for nothing, trans fats don't kill people, fry cooks kill people.

Well I say we stand up to this. do not let it happen. Write your health officials and tell them that you still have rights in this country. They will get my trans fat french fry when they pry my cold dead, ketchup soaked, finger off of it !

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