Saturday, October 21, 2006

Stopping School House Shootings

Mills of the gods

With all the tragedy we hear about , on a daily basis, the one that gets to me the most are shootings at schools. The President had a conference about it the other day, for all the good that will do. He probably brought Dick Cheney in (who specializes in shooting the elderly, not children) to announce that we have turned the corner on the school shooting crisis.

But now one candidate in this hopeless election season has a good idea. And it comes out of Oklahoma, a state not usually known for good ideas, unless they involve trick plays in a college football game.

Bill Crozier, a Republican candidate for state superintendent wants to place thick textbooks under every students chair so that they can be used as self defense in a shooting. Crozier has some experience in the matter, he is a teacher and former air Force Secirity Officer, and he has given this matter a lot of thought.Says Crozier "It might be a way to deflect those bullets until police arrive."

Crozier and a group of "aids" have even done a demonstration and produced a ten minute video of the defense plan. Crozier got himself an assault rifle and a 9mm pistol and then picked up a math book, a language book, and some telephone books. The rifle penetrated two books, but the pistol bullet was stopped buy a single book, although my sources do not say which book.My bet is on a math test.

As you might expect, "the man" in Oklahoma is skeptical. An Oklahoma Highway Patrolman said that there are some rifles that not even a large Webster's Dictinary will stop. Well, duh, I'm sure if some killer came in with a bazooka, all bets would be off. But we are not talking about perfect defenses here, just trying to provide a bit more help over something that apparently the nation's law enforcement agencies can't deal with.

Finally, a Republican with a plan, and one that won't cost much money. These kids need books anyway, from now on wh just make them a lot thicker. Each text will be at least the size of a big city telephone book, and studnets will be required to carry one with them at all times.

I believe that the plan could use a little refinement. It will cost a little more for text books, but how about mandatory steel casing on the front and back covers of all texts. Now the kids have a real fighting chance. And if we followed that up by issuing each kid a firearm, we would start having some fair fights in these classroom shootouts. In fact, we could just make it mandatory that the kids pop anyone who comes into the room during class that looks like he does not belong there. We may lose a parent, or a janitor or even a counselor somewhere along the way, but you have got to break some eggs to make an omlet.

School Superintendent ? Hell, Bill Crozier should be running for President.

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