Friday, November 03, 2006

Dogg sent to the Pound

Mills of the gods

Snoop Dogg (my daughter gets mad when I call him "Snoop Doggie Dogg", but that used to be his name) was charged with one felony count of knowingly possessing a deadly weapon on a plane. The deadly weapon was a baton. I did not know that batons were deadly weapons, I used to see the girls in my school spinning them and throwing them in gym. They had little rubber tips on each end. Now and then someone would light them on fire and throw them way up in the air, which I suppose could be deadly, but they let them do this at football games.

It turns out that this is a different type of baton. It is a "collapsable" 20 inch long piece of wood that can be collapsed down to eight inches and Mr Dogg was carrying it in his computer bag when the crack security personel at the John Wayne Airport in Orange county noticed it. If convicted,Mr Dogg faces up to three years in prison. A warrant has been issued for his arrest.

This is not much of a crime for Mr Dogg, he has face a murder rap, been convicted on felony narcotics possession for trying to sell cocaine, and a few months ago got into a scuffle with the Police at London's Heathrow airport which allegedly left seven cops injured.

Mr Dogg claims that the baton is a "prop" which was inadvertantly left in his bag. His paid spokeswoman, Ms. Meredith O'Sullivan, was kind enough to point out to us that ths charge "mocks the protection our country has in place to safeguard it's security threats." Probably. There is no reason to think that a convicted cocaine dealer who just beat up a bunch of Bobbies would be any security risk at all. I myself have several "props" which over zealous security forces might think are deadly weapons. One of them I bought down in Mexico and smuggled over the border in a Ritz Cracker Box when I was a teenager.

I have always liked Mr Dogg, although his 1994 tour "Doggystyle" was probably ill named. He was good in the movie remake Starsky & Hutch as "Huggy Bear". I also liked him in "Old School". He does not look like the kind of guy who would hijack an airplane. Of course, this guy Ted Haggard, with the National Association of Evangelicals never struck me as the kind of guy who would have sex with a male prostitute, so looks can be deceiving.Now that rapper who has the reality dating show on VH-1, who wears the giant alarm clocks. He looks like someone who could hijack a plane.

But before we send Mr Dogg of to the pound, we must remember that this is still America. He still has a right to a six week show trial on court T.V., which an average defendant could run through in two days. He still has a right to the best celebrity counsel money can buy and the right to face an understaffed and incompetent D.A. staff in Orange County. In other words, he has a right to be acquitted, just like all the stars do, and emerge as a bigger star than ever.Every Dogg has his day, and Snopp is about to get his.

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