Thursday, December 21, 2006

The Next Great Suit

Mills of the gods

I am canceling my Christmas plans. I have decided to fly to New York to see if I can get hired by Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell in the coming slander action Trump is about to file. I found out this morning that these too fairly repulsive figures are screaming back and forth at each other over the public airways. O'Donnell, whom people forget started life as a stand up comedian, did a great physical impression of Trump on her show (the View). I saw a clip of it this morning. It was hilarious. Somewhere along the way she started really going after Trump for his hypocrisy in being the moral arbitrator in the latest Miss Universe scandal (girl from Kentucky moves to New York and becomes a drunken whore). The fact that anyone cares whether Miss. Universe is an underage alcoholic slut or not amuses me. The fact that Trump owns the Miss Universe pagent, a pagent based on parading bikini clad women of all nations past a world wide TV audience and a bunch of slobering judges probably tells you all you need to know about the guy.But Rosie had to gild the lily and claim he's been bankrupt several times and that he had left creditors out in the cold and that he only succeded because he had a millionaire father who died just in time to pull his Donald out of the fire. Some of that edges toward the truth, Rosie, not being a lawyer, just did not say it right. That's why she will be sued. Rosie's view, that Trump has been married with kids twice and then slipped off to have affairs and dumped his wife each time is probably known well enough to people that pay attention to that sort of thing (the major news agencies of the United States of America) to where those statements are not actionable. More's the pity, that makes for more fun in court than whether he or some entity of Trumps did take bankruptcy and leave some mom and pop shop holding the bag and in financial ruin, while he tooled around Atlantic City with Regis Philbin.And speaking of Philbin, viewers of that show are probably still upset at Rosie's accusations that Kelly Rippa is not only a hyperactive moron, but also homophobic because she worries about where Clay Akin's mouth has been. Don't we all ?

At any rate, it has all the makings of a great law suit and another chapter to be proud of in the history of the nation's jurisprudence. I don't care which one I represent, I just want in on it.

The real idiot in all of this is Barbara Walters, the View's creator, who put out a press release claiming that both combatants were "dear" to her.Barbara is old enough now to where she should have said that everyone knows that Rosie O'Donnel is a fat , loudmouth and that Donald Trump is a pomposus asshole and so none of this makes any difference, unless you happen to be some media suck up that works for Entertainment Tonight and spend about half of your time looking through the garbage cans over at George Clooney's house, or hoping to get a picture of Paris Hilton stepping out of a car withour underwear. But no, Barbara thinks she still has a few interviews in her and so can't afford Donald and his pals or the people that take the gay/lesbian cruises to be mad at her.


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