Monday, January 08, 2007

And the Baffling Continues

Mills of the gods

It what must be a new baffling record for the month of January, city officials in the City of New York are reportedly "baffled" over the presence of an "unpleasant and mysterious gaslike odor" which can be smelled throughout Manahttan and into parts of New Jersey. No one in New Jersey has claimed to be baffled yet and my guess is that no New Jersey native would have noticed much difference from the usual boquet wafting through the Garden State. Newark in the morning, ah, "smells like victory". At any rate seven people, with nothing better to do with their time reported to a hospital, suffering from the smell. None were admitted. Damn HMOs. Twenty years ago you'd have gotten four days in a semi-private room if you came in complaining of a bad smell.

Mayor Bloomberg has called the odor "unpleasant" but says that he is "sure" that it is not dangerous. He then goes onto say that he does not know where the smell is coming from (although he says authorities are investigating, what do they do, go house to house ?). Not suprisingly, the "odor had no effect on subway service in the city". If you are used to running for your life to avoid being raped or mugged on a New York subway, a mysterious odor is not going to be the deciding factor of keeping you off of the A train.

As New York was adjusting to its new ambience, my home town of Austin , or at least its main street of Congress Avenue was being shut down for several hours because of the mysterious death of some 60 birds overnight on that street. So far, none of the media has reported that any city officials here are "baffled". That's probably because everybody knew that the grackle problem we have downtown, which starts at dusk each night would eventually lead to something like this. I will bet anyone dollars to donuts that this turns out to be an intentioanl poisoning. That may not sound like much of a crime to you, trying to rid the street of Grackles who crap all over everyone's car ,every night, but this is the city that once successfully prosecuted a guy for poisoning a tree and got him a sentence of 9 years. Killinng 6o birds has got to be a life sentence, if it is not a capitol offense. It is a sorrowful thing to see, a broad beautiful avenue, littered with the carcasas of five dozen grackles. It will be even more sorrowful if it turns out that I am wrong and some that awful Grackle flu is the cause of death. Crack teams at Texas A&M University are working on the issue now. By tomorrow, everyone on Congress Avenue may have to wear those little masks the Chinnese wore during the SARS epidemic. But even that would not be all bad, that would at least mean the Feds would then have to come in and help us kill all of the damn grackles and finally clean up Congress Avenue.



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