Wednesday, January 03, 2007

God told me

Mills of the gods

Unlike many of us, Pat Robertson talks directly to God. I guess I said that wrong. Many of us talk directly to God, but in Robertson's case God answers back. Or perhaps even initiates the conversation. This is how we know that there will be a mass tragedy along the lines of 9/11 later this year. Because that's what God told Pat.

Unlike many television evangelists, whom I find amusing, I have never cared for Pat Robertson. Except for his manner of speaking, there is nothing very funny about him. Once I saw him answering questions from callers on his T.V. show. A disturbed young man asked why the God of the bible threatened to visit iniquity upon several generations of a sinners progeny. This seemed like a reasonable question to me. Why Pat's forgiving God would hold my great, great grand daughter accountable for some sin I had committed 100 years before. Pat's answer before he moved on to the next caller ? "That's just the way the world was set up. " Now there is a thoughtful theological answer.

I guess it was last year when Pat said that he thought that the current President of Venezuela should be "taken out" by someone, presumably the CIA. I don't understand why Pat should have to rely on governmental intermediaries. Why can't he just ask his buddy the Lord to visit seven plauges on Venenzuela ? I mean , as long as they are chatting anyway, why not throw that out as an idea ?

Call me cynical, (call me anything but late for dinner) but I just don't believe that God, who could talk with anyone he/she/spirit wanted to, would waste time on a moron like Pat Robertson. Suppose you are God, you have a whole world to chat with, actually, a whole universe. Would you waste fifteen minutes of eternity talking to Pat ? I bet that fifteen minutes would seem like an eternity. Think about it. We have more direct quotes from God to Pat Robertson than we do from God to Jesus. Does that really seem likely to you ?

If God and Pat are really such buddies, why doesn't Pat just have him on his show ? Maybe he is waiting for the February sweeps. Maybe he has invited God, but God is holding out for Letterman. Someone who would ask funnier questions.

At any rate, God has now let us know, look for a bad time toward the end of the year. No sense preparing for it or raising the color alert. Pat has spoken. The fix is on.

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