Sunday, February 11, 2007

Build a better urinal cake

I was happy to see that urinal Cakes out west are now being made to talk. It gets awfully lonely at a urinal some times and would be a pleasure to talk to anyone, even a urinal cake. These particular urinal cakes mostly ask you how much you have been drinking and if you are any condition to drive. So the urinal cake does not so much converse with you, as scold you. Like you have not gotten enough of that from your wife already. That is probably why you came into the bathroom in the first place. And here is a urinal cake, starting it up all over again.

But the fact that the talking urinal cakes are being misused does not mean that this is not an exciting new invention. Urianl cakes could be made to give you the news, perhaps your horoscope, even administer trivia quizes. I was informed by a Wikipedia Article I just read on Urinal Cakes (proving once and for all that ANYTHING you need to know about is on Wikipedia)that they only last about 45 days. My guess is that their staying power is inversely proportionate to urinal use. Thus certain urinal cakes in any given set of four urinals will last longer than others. Males will know what I mean. Any man approaching a set of four urinals, assuming that no one else is using one, will use the third urinal from the left. Every time.

The fact of the matter is though that you don't see as many urinal cakes as you used to. They were on the way out, at least until this invention of "talkies". Now they will be everywhere again, sanitizing and deoderizing like there is no tomorrow, and chatting us up while they do it !

There is of course, one problem. I don't know about all men, but as for me, and most men that I know, urinating on a talking object seems beyond the pale. I mean really.You are trying to have a nice conversation with the cake, and you start feeling guilty. This, of course will be harmful to the urinary function in and of itself. The talking urinal cake will be working against its very reason for existence, to make urination a more pleasant experience. For this reason, I predict failure for the talking urinal cakes. What we need to do is to teach those automatic hand dryers how to talk.Now that is something with a pesonality !


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