Thursday, February 22, 2007

Dreams and Schemes and Circus Clowns

One of the best lawyers in Texas, John O'Quinn is somehow representing Anna Nicole Smith's mother in the body possessioncase down in Florida. His giddiness in doing so, and to getting to talk with the flaky reporters following the trial, seemed to get the best of him last night in an interview. He said that he believed that Anna's mother is right about Howard Stern (why wouldn't he change his name?) and even went so far as to use the term "murder". Even the idiot reporter (who never tires of reminding us she is a lawyer, no Gretta, I'm a lawyer, you are a rich former lawyer who demeans the legal profession by chasing after stories about inconsequential media whores) was taken aback by the boldness of John O'Quinn's statement.

As of yesterday, participants in the hearing were declaring the hearing a circus (any hearing with 19 lawyers is at least a carnival) and this was upsetting the Ring Master himself, the honorable Seidlien. This former New York cabbie has managed to drag down the dignity of even the Florida Judicial system. One would have thought that that was impossible after their handling of the 2000 election case.Seidlien did not like the c word, no Judge would. He must have liked it even less when reporters who ought to be out covering rehab centers, and not courtrooms were openly calling him incompetent. His best action of the day was putting on a phone call from some guy over in the morgue who said that he could not vouch for the beauty of the deceased in any viewing if the case did not quickly get decided. Gee, she's going open casket ?

Meanwhile, in a real circus in Columbia yesterday, two men walked out of the audience and gunned down two performing clowns. Circa del Soleil de Cali, which the news says attracts very poor customers, and damn few of those, has finally provided an answer to all of those guys who have always uttered "somebody ought to shoot that clown". The circus and the police were quick to note that the double murder had nothing to do with the clowns' performance. Would not want to hurt tomorrow's gate. Let's see, two disguised guys who travel around rural Columbia and Venezuela with a bunch of circus vagrants are gunned down while performing. Hmmm, you think the motive had anything to do with DRUGS ?

So the question of where the bigger circus and the funnier clowns are is easy to answer. Florida courtrooms are a lot funnier. maybe because the famous Ringling Brothers Clown College is in Sarasota, we have some Judges and lawyers down there who have picked up a few tricks. Plus, for all I know, the Columbian circus is fresh out of clowns. Don't know how many they had to begin with. Doubt seriously that any other clowns they had would hang around. Quite a dangerous job. Ever bit as dangerous as hanging out with Howard Stern, he's got two bodies on his watch too, Anna and her boy. No shooting was involved, but our deceased are just as dead as the Columbian clowns. Reminds me of the old Sondheim song

"Isn't it rich ?
Are we a pair ?
You at last on the ground
and me in the air
where are the clowns ?
Send in the clowns.

Don't you love farce,
My fault I fear
I thought that you'd want what I want
sorry my dear
where are the clowns ?
send in the clowns.
Don't bother they're here !

Boy, are they ever.

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