Monday, March 05, 2007

Rat Redux

Just when you think that you have probably written your last rat blog for awhile, the little beggars come crawling back. Kansas City (where everything is up to date, if you happen to live in the middle ages) is upset this morning over a rat chewing off the nose of a four week old infant this weekend. If the baby monitor had not gone off, there might be little left of the child.Some people have alleged that perhaps the city should not have cut rat erradication from the budget some years back. But that's Monday morning Quarterbacking as far as I'm concerned. When cities stop erradicationg rats, why does it necessarily follow that there will be more rats in a city ? Especially a city like Kansas City. Surely those rats would have moved somewhere warmer on their own anyway. I am sure that the Kansas City City Council was pursuaded to leave this problem to the private sector, where millions of dollars could be made by entrepanuers capturing rats and sending them off as entres to Thailand and North Korea. Every rat poisoned on the street in the US of A is a bite right out of the mouth of a Siamese family or a North Korean Nuclear plant worker.

Turns out that rate problems in the United states have made a huge comeback in the last twenty years. There are reports of elderly people trying to put barricades on the edges of their beds to keep out the rats who "take over at night". Why have we not heard of this before ? It takes a child having it's nose eaten before we focus on a problem like this ? The Kansas City news story had a link to a site on how to get rid of rats. It was not a very high tech site. You can clean up the neighborhood and poison them. Huh, never thought of that. Of course, if you live in New York you can open a KFC and let nature take its course, but that was last week's story.

Remeber the old movie "The Pied Piper", the lead character was played to the hilt by Mr Van Johnson. He's still alive, I think. Let's pull the old cloak and Robin Hood hat out of moth balls and put him to work. He owes us anyway, my mother never forgave him for making all of those movies in World War II when heros like Jimmy Stewart were flying missions. As a kid I asked her how he avoided the draft, "Oh, he's a twinkee" she replied. I did not know what she meant for a number of years.Mom really held a grudge. Well, this is his chance to make it up to her, as well as all those Marines who died at Iwo Jima so that Clint Eastwood could get rich. If Van is any kind of a patriot he needs to be saying right now, "I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come,I said I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come. They got fifty million rats there and I'm gonna get me some."

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