Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The weariness of the long distance blogger

I used to think that it would be a chore finding something to write about on a regular basis. Events have overtaken that fear. Most days I have a hadrd time choosing absurdity to discuss. Today I considered writing about that Army recruiter who had advised a gay black man that he "needed to go back to Africa and do his voodo dance half naked in the jungle." or words very close to that. But as despicable as that was, I could not resist commenting on the story out of England wherein Keith Richards, Rolling Stone guitar player, said that he had once ground up some ashes of his father and mixed in in with some cocaine to snort. I don't know anything about British law, so I don't know if snorting your father is legal over there. I guess there is not much difference in snorting or eating a person, but I don't know if eating the remains of a cremated human is considered cannibalism. I would think that it should be. Why should we discriminate against against those cannibals who like their human served a little rare, and reward those who prefer it charred ? And what difference should it make to the law which orifice dad goes down ?

When I started blogging, it never hit me that I would be writing about rock stars snorting their fathers. It never hit me that anyone would think of doing something like that. I have given up my hopes of world rationality. As a police character on a sitcom once said, " That kind of stuff used to surprise me, but now I know that there's nothing in the Sears and Roebuck Catalouge that someone does not want to sleep with." I am sure that these incidents have happened for years, but with the whole world writing blogs and videoing off of telephones, we just know about all of it now. Lucky us.

But the FAA did us a real favor yesterday by keeping the ban on cell phone use on airplanes. Can you imagine flying for three and a half hours while some idiot yells over his cell phone and some other idiot there on the ground ? The best thing about these kids using instant messaging is that it is blissfully silent. But my idea of hell would be the middle seat on an airplane, caught between two loud cell phone users. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but God bless the FAA.


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