Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Last Monkey Blog.....

for awhile.

I found a group on line which is trying to get December 14 declared "National Monkey Day" in the United States. As I detest the lack of Federal holidays between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I signed the petition and urged many of my friends to do likewide. Few responded. As an offshot of my effort though I am now on some kind of a monkey mailing list and get storys on a daily basis from around the simian world.

One story that needs to be explored is the ongoing monkey problem in New Delhi. New Delhi, like much of India was once surrounded by forest. As the city grew, monkeys, hundreds at a time, began roaming New Delhi, looking for food and whatever mischief they could get into. Last December, a group of harrassed Indians petitioned the Indian Suprmee Court to force the government to get rid of the monkeys. Since that time, the "Monkey catchers" of New Delhi, who are known as some of the least successful of all Indian bureaucrats, have caught a grand total of two monkeys. Worse, a group of Hindus managed to free one of the incarcerated monkeys, for what was said to be religious reasons.From January 1 through April 23 of this year, the Indian government advertized for more monkey catchers. Not one person applied for the job. The head of the Monkey control division in New Delhi said that there were a variety of reasons for the lack of successful recruitment. He named several, religious reasons,danger of the job,and the desire for a more conventional type of employment were among those cited.

This problam is, even now, being debated in the Indian Parliament. The Parliamant building itself, is said to be over run by "battalions" of monkeys who are biting people, stealing their lunches, harrassing them and taunting them. The taunting part intrigues me. I'd hate to be a pretty girl and have to walk the Monkey gauntlet every day, trying to get to my job. Big gangs of monkey toughs , chattering and scratching their rears and private parts, pitching feces now and then. That's no environment for a memeber of the Indian Parliament to have to work in.

Few may remember that back in the Spring of 2001, New Delhi was terrorized by a four foot high "Monkey man" who was sneaking down people's roofs at night and attacking the. These siteings almost ended in tragedy when a mob of Indians mistook a four foot tall wandering Hindu Sabu for the "monkey man" and beat him up. The last report I saw on Wikipedia about the Monkey man clained that he had boarded a flight for Russia in December 2001(also reported in Russian newspapers), although a "monkey like machine" flashing blue and red lights was spottted in New Delhi in 2002.

This old story about the Monkey man reminds me that, at that time, some people felt that the New Delhi citizenry was succumbing to a mas illusion, along the lines of "Big Foot" or the "Loch Nest Monster" Maybe this latest monkey rampage is nothing more than a relapse. I have watched the Texas legislature over time, working at a frantic pace, to pass God knows what awful laws, in the days alloted to them every two years by our ultra permissive State Constitution. I can easily see the Austin, Texas citizenary succumbing to the illusion that the legislators are, in reality, just so many monkeys, down there on the floor, taking bannana bribes and voting yes or no at the bidding of their trainers. That's pretty much the way the Texas legisalture works anyway. There is no reason to believe we would not, and every reason to expect that we would get better governemental service out of about 150 Indian monkeys than we do the thieves that serve us today. Hey India, I can solve your monkey problem, want to trade ?We'll throw in the lobbyists !


Blogger wade said...

10/ 22/07-In a tragic coda to the monkey story, the Deputy Mayor of New Delhi pluged off of a balcony in his home this weekend, fleeing a gang of rampaging monkeys. whether the death of a geovernmental official will hasten a solution to the problem is still unknown. Despite the tragedy, the peoeple of India still refuse to trade the monkeys for the members of the Texas Legislature.

9:18 AM  

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