Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Girl Swallows magnets, pukes green

That's what the headline said this morning.apparently it is "bring your 10 year old to work and let him write the headlines"day at C.N.N..I don't recall ever seeing the word "puke" in a headline before. The real story was "girl swallows part of poorly manufactured Mattel toy from China and develops severve internal infection". But that's a pretty long headline, and anyone following the news knew exactly what was meant by "swallows magnets, pukes green."

The interesting part of the story was that this all happened two years ago.Mattel had already paid the family off and gone about their business of distributing Chinese time bombs for another two years.It's much cheaper to pay of the parents of a few dead or injured children than it is to recall 15 million toys only four months from Christmas. Between the loose magnets and the lead paint, the current program of "No child left alive" was proceeding well until the last few months, when a bunch of parents and the FTC (belatedly) got upset about it.This set off a chain reaction which lead to the suicide of the Chinese entrepanuer who shipped the goods. That's what I like about the east. Although it is a vanishing tradition, the top guy in East Asia always takes responsibility for a disaster.Of course, the Prime Minister of Japan (the one who sang "Love Me Tender" at Graceland) took full responsibility for his party's devestaing losses this week at the polls, but he did not resign, much less kill himself. China still functions on the old model. Possibly because the people responsible for messing up the stock market over there were executed earlier this year by the government.The government in China tends not to draw such fine distinctions, as we in the U.S. do, between civil and criminal problems.They all get solved by execution.I understand they call it the "Texas model".

Am I implying that the President of Mattel ought to be executed if he does not committ suicide ? Why, yes I am.What he will do is blame his quality control department for the more than 15 million lethal weapons he imported from China to have Santa hand out at Christmas.It reminds me of the toy manufacturer Danny Akroyd used to play on Saturday Night Live. One of his products "bag o'glass" was just that, a bag of glass. Another was something like "Johnny Flame on" which were essentially rags soaked in gasoline that could be put on by a child and lit.It came with a cigarette lighter as I recall. After all is said and done, the execs at Mattel will go quietly ,with multi million dollar buy outs. Makes you want to puke. Green.

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