Friday, October 26, 2007

Capitalistic Shill

I had been reading these messages from blogger.com, urging me to turn my blog into a billboard for their advertisers. Great riches seemed in the offing. Frankly, I could not figure out who would want to place an ad on my blog. The fact of the matter is, I don't think that I have ever written one which has been read by more than five people, and readership like that is rare. My blog, like Gray's, is a "flower which blush(es) unseen and waste(s) its sweetness on the dessert air". So why was Madison Avenue (do they still call it that) so anxious to sign me up as one of their puryeyors of consumption ? In a moment of pure greed, I signed up to find out.

It turnes out that these guys are smarter than I thought they were, and frankly, I had already thought that they were pretty damn smart. What they did was analyze (electronically I'm sure) my blog and place an ad that they thought would appeal directly to me. It is a new version of direct mail. Since they only pay me based on how many people actually view the blog, they know that they will never have to pay me anything. Now they have a chance to sell me something ! This is brilliant and it is why I have spent my life working for rich people and not being a rich person. I would have never thought of this. I have thought of several things which will save the planet, as I wrote about yesterday, but have never thought of anything that would make me personally rich.

After their scanners picked up my blog about sleep apnea, a couple of days ago, the first ad placed on my blog was for a pillow that helps oxygen flow to you while you are asleep. The link specifically talks about sleep apnea. I predict that the next ad, based on my blog about ice sheets, will be from a sporting goods store which sells equipment for polar exploration.This is amazing. These guys scan millions of blogs each day, and can pinpoint one of their ads right to you.Now, none of this upsets me. These people have been nice enough to let me blog here, for free, over the last year. I don't begrudge them making a buck out of it.But the odds of me actually buying from anyone who would place an ad on "Mills of the Gods" is zero. What company in its right collective mind would want to be associated with this collection of remenisses, poor satire and misspellings ? No one with any dignity, that's for sure.

None the less, I do heartily recommend the "Oxygen Pillow". While I have never used one, the bravery of this company, electing to be associated with me, is awe inspiring. Stupid, but awe inspiring.

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