Thursday, October 16, 2008

What about Josephine ?

All this talk about Joe the plumber during the debate  last night glossed over the real issue, who is Josephine the Plumber going to support ?


In the 1960s, Comet Cleanser introduced Josephine the Plumber to millions of commercial viewers. As near as I could tell, Josephine was the smartest plumber who ever lived. Josephine had figured out a way to fix every sink problem with Comet. I think Comet is still around. Comet is a cleanser which Josephine used to get “tough Grape Jelly stains” out of the sink and “rings” out of the bathtub. She mentioned that it worked in toilets too, but in those days that was too indelicate to talk about at any length.


Josephine was such a smart plumber that she always wore white overalls which contained no telltale signs that she had worked at all !  That was because all she did was sprinkle Comet Cleanser on every problem and walk away. I often wondered, as a child, how a plumber could make a living if everyone knew that all you needed Comet  to fix any problem. I assumed that a lot of people simply did not watch television and were unaware that plumbing was an unnecessary expense.


I kept thinking last night that Josephine (if she is still alive) is probably a lot smarter than Joe the Plumber and would be a lot more reliable in giving advice on how to vote. I’d like to see who would get her endorsement. The more I watched the debate, the more I realized that Josephine the Plumber is also a hell of a lot smarter than the two guys who are running for President. I have never seen either one of them get a tough grape jelly stain out of a sink by sprinkling on Comet. Everything they want to do is so complicated that no one can understand it. Josephine’s philosophy was more like Ronald Reagan’s, simple solutions to every problem. Pour on the comet and” let it soak it soak for a minute”. At least I think that was what she said. Madge, the beautician, who worked for some kind of liquid dishwashing detergent used to say the same thing I think, so I may have them confused. Madge was pretty smart herself as she had found a way to use the dishwashing substance as a skin softener in her place of business, much to  the initial horror of her customers when she finally admitted it. Madge would have not made a good President, she was too gossipy and too deceptive.


So old Joe the Plumber, who has found a way to make a quarter of a million dollars a year (the reason why he is worried about Obama’s tax plan) needs to be careful. If Josephine shows up it will be his income, not his taxes that he will have to worry about.


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