Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It Had Been a Quiet Week in Lake Winnebago, Wisconsin

Nothing special was happening. A married  man quietly made his way to a cheap hotel room where he was intent on continuing his affair with a woman. After a few minutes the middle aged couple began to experiment with a little activity they had not tried before when the woman bound the man tightly to the bed with sheets and blindfolded him. Whatever the fellow was expecting next he certainly was not expecting his lover, his lover’s sister, his wife and a second woman he was having an affair with, to come over to his bed with a glue gun, glue his penis to his stomach with “Krazy Glue” and slap him around for a time. They also had a gun for good measure, although they never used it. Then they took the man’s wallet, cell phone and car and made their escape, leaving the bound man to free himself after a long night of “chewing through the sheets”.


Most people think that this is funny. The ones that don’t, other than the guy with his penis glued to his stomach, are the women who assaulted him, all looking at six years in prison, with perhaps (one would hope) some time off for creativity. Can you imagine though how bad this guy must have been to get his wife and two extra marital lovers worked up to this extent ? There is  no doubt in my mind that it was one of the lover’s “sisters” who dreamed this up. Most scorned people (I almost said women) are egged on by a friend or a relative . It probably sounded good when it was first brought up, heck, maybe it just started out as an intervention, albeit an aggressive one, and things got out of hand when someone decided to bring a glue gun. I will admit that the bringing of the glue gun does make it sound premeditated, unlike that Lauren Bobbitt who used a pair of scissors on her husband some years ago, that always sounded like a spur of the moment reaction to me. I wrote a blog a long time ago about women who set their lovers on fire, I was shocked to find out how often it happens. Maybe this glue gun thing is all the rage and I just did not know it.


The thing which surprises me the most about all of this is that it happened in Wisconsin. It sounds like such a New Jersey thing to do. The other thing that surprises me is that it was reported to the police. If you are such a jerk that everyone you are having sex with decides to do something like this, it might be better just to buy some solvent and file for divorce, and perhaps move to Minnesota where the women are a little better humored and not as much beer is consumed. Making it public really is not going to advance your position in any specific way and could lead to turning you into a running national joke, making it impossible to keep employment, and certainly making you less attractive to women. I’m guessing that, at least as far as Lake Winnebago is concerned, the guy is going to have a tough time getting dates, and maybe that was the reason behind the women’s mayhem in the first place. If so, they got what they wanted.





Blogger Jannie Funster said...

I found this hard to read. I do not have one of those dangling appendages yet somehow I cringed as if I could feel this gluing on my own personage.


5:16 PM  

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