Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Apt Aps

I talked to my brother a couple of nights ago, both of us were talking on our I-Phones. Clay, who works in and teaches courses in television (and other things) at the Houston Baptist University is quite a bit more familair with technology than I am. Naturally, he has made use of the features of the I-Phone which I did not even know existed, so a lot of the conversation was me saying, "It can do that ?".

As you would expect, the discussion soon got around to APs. I think that AP (or Ap) may be an an abbreviation for "application", but I only think that because these hightech types (I think that it is politically incorrect to call them ""nerds")use the word application a lot. Of course, for all I know ,it can be an abbreviation for Apple Pie or short for Appendicularia.

Anyway, the APs (or Aps)are things that you can buy. Many or them are really just short cuts to get you to a particular site very quickly which, when your fingers are as clumsy as mine, is an advantage. Some, however are amazing things, the more amazing, the more expensive. I am lead to believe that there are APs for everything that you need in life.I think that you can now do just about anything you want in life, which requires some kind of communication or research, with one AP or another. I know that there are APs which will play your favorite music and Aps with which you can download books.I know this because those are the only two APs I have, primarily because they were both free. The music one (Pandora) is actually very cool if you just want to make sure that you will hear music that you like. I use it occasionally.

The reading Ap has been a non-starter. This is mainly because when you won't pay for books you only can look at thing that are in the public domain. Scroll down the lists on these free book sites and you will always find the American Declaration of Independence, the works of John Locke, the autobiography of Ben Franklin, poems by ancient Romans and numerous other things that are often not on your current reading list. Now the list contains classics as well, but who could read Don Quixote on an I-Phone screen ?

At any rate, the Ap is still in the rudimentary stage of development and at some point will actually begin doing things that are quite helpful. I have thought of several good ideas which I hope are being worked on.

1.Ap which will help you find your glasses, keys and wallet every morning. Now this does not solve the problem of how to find your I-Phone in the morning which would be the key to finding everything else. So some work will have to be done on that issue.

2. Ap which will tell you when your wife is about to get furious over your leaving your shoes downstairs in front of the T.V.. Notice that I did not say an ap which will remind you to pick up your shoes in the first place. There is no sense in an Ap making you work harder than you really have to.

3.Ap which will change the oil in your car on schedule and not have to remind you to do it.

4.Ap which will tell you the truth about how long you are going to wait for a table at a restaraunt so that you don't have to listen to the Hostess'lies.

5. Ap which will tell you the truth about when a delayed flight is really going to get to the airport so that you do not have to listen to the lies of a gate agent.

6. Ap which will alert you that you have left your zipper down.

7. Ap which will punch up your blog for you when you are having an off day in the humor department.

8.Ap which will automatically dial your mother when it decides that "it has been too long".

9. Ap which will break up any meeting on any subject which goes over thirty minutes (and can be reset for as few as ten minutes)

10. Ap which automatically stops any IM or e-mail(or Tweet) that you send out which you would regret later.

Now some of you may think, these Aps seem to be particularly geared to Wade Porter's problems and not mine, and you would be correct.But that's the great thing about Aps, you just take the ones you need.You are free to have your own Ap wish list if you want one.All I ask is that you not get in the way of the Ap folks perfecting my list.You may be shocked at the fact that you will need most items on my list at some point in life.